WhackDown!
by Matsumori
Summary: A humorous Smackdown! episode. Chapter three is finally up! WARNING: there's a little bit of slash (m/m/m. lol) in all three chapters
1. Chapter One

**Title:** WhackDown!

**Author:** Sara Blaze

**Distribution:** Ask first.

**Disclaimer:** I own don't own any of these characters or the WWE.

**Rating:** R, just to be safe. o_O

**Content:** Humor, mild language, and sexual content.

**Characters:** The Rock, Triple H, Stephanie McMahon, Vince McMahon, Kurt Angle, Chris Jericho, Rob Van Dam, Rey Mysterio, Eric Bischoff, Matt & Jeff Hardy, Bubba Ray Dudley, Reverend D-Von, Jamie Noble, Nidia, Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero, Edge, etc.

**Summary:** A humorous SmackDown! episode.

**Author's Note:** This story does not include the roaster split. So don't bother e-mailing me about it, telling me I made some kind of mistake. Thanks.  
  
**Now... on to the story...**

**Michael Cole:** Hello and welcome to SmackDown!! We are here in Madison Square Garden in New York City! I'm here with my co-commentator, Tazz! We have an explosive show here for you tonight and --

**Tazz:** Shut the hell up bitch, heh heh!!

**Michael Cole:** Oh Tazz! _* girly giggle *_ You're so funny!

_* Cole gazes into Tazz's eyes and smiles seductively *_

**Michael Cole:** ...And quite sexy...

**Tazz:** Oh shut up and take me now, Cole!

_* Tazz and Michael begin making out on the announce table, until security pulls them apart and drags them out of the building. A few mintues after, Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler arive, taking Tazz and Michael Cole's place *_

**J.R.:** Good lord, King! Did you see what those two were doin'?!?

**Lawler:** _* screams *_ Yeah, J.R.!! It seems Tazz and Mike were makin' out!

**J.R.:** Obviously!! I mean, in my 20 years in this busniess, I've never seen such a sight... well, except that time when Pat Patterson and Vince McMahon were playing strip poker...

**Lawler:** _* screams *_ Mr. McMahon and Pat were playing strip poker?!? *faints at the thought of two old men completely naked *

**J.R.:** King!! Mah Gawd! Wake up already!

_* J.R. slaps King, making him wake up *_

**Lawler:** Oh... J.R.!! Why'd ya have to wake me up?!? I was dreaming about PUPPIES!!! Damn you!!

_* Trish's music plays, she walks out, hops into the ring, and grabs a mic. The crowd goes wild, in addition to King *_

**Lawler:** Speaking of PUPPIES -- there's Trish Stratus, J.R.!!!

**J.R.:** I can see that, King.

**Lawler:** Oh man, J.R.! I can't believe were going to be seeing a bikini match tonight! I must be in heaven!! _* screams *_

**J.R.:** I'm quite excited too, King. Anywho, let's hear what this young man -- er -- _woman_ -- has to say.

* The camera switches over to Trish Stratus standing in the middle of the ring *

**Trish:** Before the bikini match begins --

_* The crowd begins cheering again, as well as King *_

**Trish:** I'd like to say something to all of you -- especially to all of my male fans...

_* She pauses for a moment before continuing *_

**Trish:** ...I am not who you think I am.

_* The whole arena becomes quite at Trish's comment, wondering what she meant *_

**Trish:** ...The truth is, I'm actually Marc Lloyd!!

_* Trish then pulls a mask off her face, revealing that she is in fact -- Marc Lloyd! A series of boo's and screams from the crowd are heard throughout the arena. After a few moments, security drags the screaming Marc out of the building *_

**Lawler:** NOOOOO!!! How can this be, J.R.?!? This can't be happening!! _* screams *_

**J.R.:** I can't believe it myself, King!! Never in my life would I've thought there'd ever be a 2 for 1 discount on BBQ suace at Doug's House Of BBQ Sauce!!

**Lawler:** J.R.!! What the hell are you talking about?!? Did you not hear anything that Tris -- er -- Marc just said?!? Trish Stratus is a MAN!!!

**J.R.:** Oh... she is? Well, that's news to me. Anyway... Look! It's The Game!

_* Triple H's music plays, he walks slowly down the ramp, jumps on the apron, spits water, then grabs a mic *_

**Triple H:** I-uh am-uh the-uh game-uh and I-uh am that-uh damn good-uh!!

_* The crowd becomes completely silent. Only a few laughs, farts, coughs can be heard throughout the arena*_

**Triple H:** ...Do not-uh disrespect me-uh by-uh not cheering-uh...

_* The crowd still remains silent, causing Triple H's eyes to water *_

**Triple H:** I am-uh the-uh game-uh!! I-uh am not-uh supposed-uh to be-uh treated-uh like this-uh!!!

**J.R.:** Good lord, King!! Look at the standing ovation Triple H is getting!!

_* Lawler gives J.R. a weird look and then pulls his chair away from him a little *_

**Triple H:** I am-uh a-uh legend-uh! Please-uh! Cheer-uh me-uh!!

_* As that is said, a young man stands up, lifting his hands in the air... *_

**Triple H:** Oh, thank-uh you-uh! I-uh am-uh so --

_* ...and gives Triple H the finger *_

~*~

**How will Triple H react to the fan giving him the finger?!?**

Is J.R. losing his mind?!?

What happened to Tris -- er -- Marc Llyod?!?

Find out on the next chapter of 'WhackDown!'!

~*~

**Author's Note:** I will not add more chapters if I don't get good reviews. So, if y'all don't like the fic, I'm gonna delete this fic. Peace y'all. 


	2. Chapter Two

**Author's Note:** Thanks to all of those who reviewed my story, I really, really appreciate. _* smile *_ Anywho, I said that if I got good reviews I'd add more chapters, so here it is, chapter two. ^_~ I hope you guys enjoy this chapter as much as the other. ^_^ Peace. Oh! And just as a warning, there's a LOT of Hogan bashing in this chapter. So if your a "Hulkamaniac", then this is probably something you shouldn't read. lol

**On to the story...**

**J.R.:** Sweet Slobberknocker! I can't believe how loud it is in here!

**Lawler:** ...No one's cheering!! That fan just gave Triple H the finger, J.R.!!

_* King points at the man in the crowd, then J.R. looks over at King, with a confused look on his face *_

**J.R.:** ...Um... King? Are you alright?

_* J.R. lays his hand on King's shoulder *_

**Lawler:** ...

_* King shoves J.R.'s hand off his shoulder and shudders a little *_

**Lawler:** What the hell are you talking about, J.R.?!? I'm fine! You're the one who's acting like a lunatic, not ME!! And... don't EVER touch me again!

_* J.R. rolls his eyes *_

**J.R.:** Yes, yes, King. Whatever you say...

_* King let's out a heavy sigh, quietly cursing to himself *_

*****COMMERCIAL BREAK*****

_* A advertisment for "Stacker 3 Ultra" pops up on the screen, showing J.R. sitting on the toilet with his pants pulled down, wearing a black cowboy hat *_

**J.R.:** Hello everyone. If you're like me and you have a big, flabby gut, man boobs, and a butt bigger than a goverment mule, you'll instantly fall in love with the all-new product I bring to you today: "Stacker 3 Ultra". It's made with all natural ingredients such as scalled dog, goverment mule, and my favorite: J.R.'s homemade BBQ suace. As god as my witness, "Stacker 3 Ultra" will change your life. It certainly changed mine.

_* J.R. pauses for a moment, realizing that he's still fat, then the commercial fades out *_

*****COMMERCIAL END*****

**Lawler:** ... _* snicker *_

**J.R.:** ...Is something wrong, King...?

**Lawler:** ...Oh, uh, n-nothing's wrong, absolutely nothing... _* snicker *_

**J.R.:** ...Look, it's Chris Jericho!!

~*~

**Author:** It's amazing how J.R. can _sense_ when someone's coming out to the ring, huh? o_O lol

~*~

_* Jericho's music plays, he walks out with a mic in his hand, and gets into the ring *_

**Jericho:** Even though I am --

_* The crowds begins booing and chanting "has-been" at Jericho, making him slighty angry *_

**Jericho:** As I was saying -- even though I am the first un-disputed champion and I beat The Rock AND Stone Cold Steve Austin IN THE SAME NIGHT -- I am STILL forced to job to men who are centuries older than me, such as those two ass-clowns, Hollywood Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair!

_* The arena becomes silent. A few scattered laughs can be heard throughout *_

**J.R.:** ...

**Lawler:** _* screams *_

**Jericho:** So, if you'll excuse me, I have to go job now.

_* Jericho drops the mic outside the ring. Seconds later, Hogan's music plays, then he comes slowly walking down the ramp, shaking him arms up and down (in other words, "hulkin' it up"). He tries to enter the ring, but he is too old and weak. So he calls over five or so referee's to help him into the ring *_

**Lawler:** _* burst into laughter *_

**J.R.:** ...

_* After Hogan's in the ring, the bell rings. Hogan weakly lifts up his left arm to the side of him, shortly after, Jericho runs into it, and falls down. Jericho gets up, then Hogan weakly Irish Whip's him into the ropes. Jericho bounces off the ropes, but quickly stops because it seems Hogan can't lift his own leg up. So, five referee's get into the ring, lifts his right leg up, and holds it in place. Jericho bounces off the ropes again, and his face connects with Hogan's boot. The referee's hop out of the ring, then Hogan slowly bounces off the ropes and tries to give Jericho a leg drop, but falls on his butt instead. The referee's come into the ring AGAIN to help him up. The referee's leave, Hogan thinks to himself for a moment and decides to forgot about the leg drop. Then Hogan slowly drops to one knee, this alone takes him 10 minutes. After 10 mintues, Hogan slowly drop down his other knee, which takes 15 minutes this time. After 15 minutes, Hogan starts profusely sweating and is desperately trying to catch his breath *_

**Hogan:** Hey brother... _* huff *_ ...this is gonna take... _* puff *_ ...me longer then... _* huff *_ ...I thought...

**Jericho:** Good, because I REALLY have to use the can!

_* Jericho gets up, and runs backstage. Five minutes later, Jericho comes back to find Hogan is STILL profusely sweating and STILL trying to catch his breath. Jericho snickers , jumps in the ring, and lays down. After five or so minutes, Hogan FINALLY manages to cover Jericho, and gets the three count *_

**J.R.:** Good lord almighty!! That was one hell-of-a-match that Hogan and Jericho put on tonight!!

**Lawler:** ...Riiiiigght...

_* Hogan's music plays, then the EMT's run out to the ring with a stretcher. They roll Hogan onto it, then leave *_

**Lawler:** ...Hey, look!!! _* screams *_

_* King points to the titon tron screen, showing Triple H crying in the arms of Shawn Michaels *_

**Triple H:** _* sob *_ Oh-uh Shawn-uh... I can't-uh believe-uh that-uh mean man gave-uh me-uh the finger-uh... _* sob *_

**Shawn:** It's alright, Hunter, I'll take care of you... now...

_* Shawn gently runs his fingers through Triple H's hair, then kisses his forehead *_

**Shawn:** ...and forever...

_* Triple H gazes into Shawn's eyes, then suddenly the screen turns black *_

**Lawler:** ... _* screams for two minutes straight *_

_* After about five minutes, the titon tron screen shows two naked men making out on top of Vince's limo, Michael Cole and Tazz *_

**J.R.:** Mah gawd, King!! How did they get back into the buliding?!?!

**Lawler:** _* screams *_ I don't know, J.R.!! But... who's that?!?!

**J.R.:** It's Tris -- er -- Marc Lloyd!!!

_* Marc walks over to Tazz and Michael Cole, (still wearing fake boobs and a skirt, I might add) and taps Tazz on the shoulder *_

**Marc Lloyd:** Heeeey! Tazzie! Can I join in?!?!

_* Tazz glares at Marc before responding *_

**Tazz:** Get your ass over here bitch, heh heh!!!

**Michael Cole:** Yeah!! _* girly giggle *_ there's ALWAYS room for one more!!

_* Marc then strips down to nothing and joins Tazz and Michael *_

**Lawler:** ... _* screams for two minutes straight AGAIN *_

**J.R.:** Oh mah gawd, King!! Look!!

_* Yet another scene is shown on the titon tron. It shows Vince, Stephanie, and Eric Bischoff in Vince's office, sitting at a table discussing something *_

**J.R.:** Sweet BBQ sauce!! What do you think they're talking about, King?!?

**Lawler:** _* screams *_ Maybe HLA?!?!?!

**J.R.:** Oh, come on, King!! I'm being serious here!!

**Lawler:** So am I!! _* screams *_

~*~

**Author's Note:** Well... that's it for chapter two. ^_~ I hope you guys enjoyed it. Peace.

~*~

**What are Vince, Stephanie, and Eric Bischoff discussing in Vince's office?!?**

What kind of relationship do HHH and Shawn Michaels REALLY have?!?

Will Tazz, Michael, and Marc be caught and thrown out by sercurity AGAIN?!?!

Find out on the next chapter of 'WhackDown!'. 


	3. Chapter Three

**Author's Note:** Sorry for not updating in a while. I've been having a lot of computer problems lately. ^^* Anyway, again, thanks to all those who review, it really means a lot. Really. And Jadyn, that scene with with Shawn and Triple H is based on their real life relationship, not their relationship on WWE. But, I guess I should have added that in the story... oh well. ^^* lol I'm new at this, I'm bound to make mistakes, eh? _* smile *_

**Anywho, on with the story...**

**J.R.:** MY GAWD, KING!! Here comes the devil himself!!

**Lawler:** _* screams *_

_* Vince's music plays, he stumps down the ramp, enters the ring, then grabs a mic *_

**Vince:** I'm sure you all --

_* The crowd boos loudly, causing Vinnie Mac to raise his voice slightly *_

**Vince:** I'm sure... you all would like to know what I was discussing with my daughter and the General Manager of Raw -- Eric Bischoff.

_* The whole arena becomes somewhat silent *_

**J.R.:** Well, I'd certainly like to know!

**Lawler:** Me too!! _* screams *_

_* The camera zooms in on Vince's wrinkled up, saggy, red face showing smirk trying to bud *_

**Vince:** Well, I have something in store for Stephanie and Eric, so Steph -- Eric -- get your asses out here right now, damn it!!

_* Eric walks out, gives everyone his wanna-be DDP grin, then proceeds down to the ring follwed by a frowning Stephanie McMahon. They enter it, then Stephanie grabs a mic *_

**Stephanie:** DADDY!! What's going on!?!

_* The crowd covers their ears and moans in pain from Stephanie's screeching *_

**Stephanie:** DADDY!!! Tell me!!

_* Vince wipes off a few drops of blood trickling down his ear *_

**Vince:** Alright, alright, damn it!! Just stop yelling!!

_* Vince straightens up his tie then walks slowly around the ring *_

**Vince:** I am well aware that you two aren't getting along, and quite franky, I'm not too pleased about that.

_* Eric looks at Steph and gives her that chessy grin, she frowns and grits her teeth at him *_

**Vince:** But down deep -- I know you two really want to become friends...

_* The arena fills up with laughter and "WHAT!?!" chants *_

**Stephanie:** WHAT?!?! I DON'T WANT TO BE HIS FRIEND!! I HATE HIM, DADDY!!

_* More moans can be heard throughout the arena. Vince wipes a few more trickles of blood from his ear before continuing *_

**Vince:** Well, Stephanie, I'm sure you'll feel diffirently about Eric after tonight --

_* Stephanie frowns and gives her father a scared and confused look *_

**Vince:** Because I'm sending you two on a date tonight!!

_* Stephanie's eyes widen and her jaw drops, but Eric continues grinning like a retard *_

**Vince:** I've made registrations at the finest restaurant in New York City. A limo is waiting for you in the parking lot. Steph, make sure you call me tomorrow and tell me how things went, okay?

_* Vince's music plays, he drops the mic, hops out of the ring, and proceeds backstage with a evil grin plastered on his old face. Stephanie slaps Eric, then proceeds angerly down the ramp. Eric just continues grinning for about ten mintues then leaves *_

**J.R.:** OH MY GAWD!! OH MY GAWD!! The two general managers of both Smackdown! and Raw are going out tonight! This is unbelievable, King!!

**Lawler:** ...Only because Mr. McMahon is forcing them to!

**J.R.:** ...Oh, look!!

_* The titin tron shows Goldust and Mini-Dust siting down in a leather sofa sharing an ice cream sunday backstage. Goldust takes a long, deep breath, feels his chest, then bites a spoon covered in ice cream *_

**Goldust:** Oh Mini-Dust, isn't this sunday absolutely delicious?! _* Mini-Dust nods, then points to the sunday *_

**Goldust:** Huh...? Oh! Yes, how could I possibly forget! THE SPRINKLES!!

_* Goldust hops up from his seat, and holds a finger up to his chin *_

**Goldust:** Oh! I know! There's a seven-eleven right across the street. They probably have some sprinkles. I'll be right back Mini-Dust!

_* Goldust does his freaky little routine, then leaves. Mini-Dust sits the sunday on a near by table, then curls up on the sofa and falls asleep *_

**Lawler:** Wow... now THAT was weird... hey! Look, it's Rikishi! _* Rikishi is shown walking in the halls of the backstage area reading his lines, and eating a foot-long sub dripping with a dark, brown sauce *_

**J.R.:** Hmmmm...!! That looks like mah homemade BBQ sauce, King!!!

**Lawler:** Ah... yeah... right...

_* Rikishi enters the room where Mini-Dust is sleeping, but because he's so wrapped up in eating and reading his lines, he doesn't notice him. Rikishi walks over to the leather sofa where Mini-Dust is laying, and sits down without looking. Suddenly, a loud muffled scream is heard under Rikishi, which causes him to quickly sit up. He turns around and stares at the leather sofa, but sees nothing. A small hand reaching outward is shown sticking out Rikishi's ass, but then it goes limp shortly after. Rikishi straches his butt, which forces the small hand futher into his ass. He strugs, then walks away, accidentally knocking over the sunday Mini-Dust put on the small table next to the sofa earlier *_

**J.R.:** Sweet SlobberKnocker!!! Did you just see that, King?!?

**Lawler:** _* screams *_ I sure did, J.R.!! Poor little Mini-Dust! I wonder how's Goldust gonna take it?!?

**J.R.:** Well, I don't know, King. But I'm sure he'll be hurt. Those two were really close... too close you might say...

_* King frowns at J.R., then scratches his head *_

**Lawler:** Uh... what do you mean "too close"...? Ya know what, on second thought, I don't wanna even know!!

**J.R.:** Well... okay then. Anywho, I'm really excited about the Undertaker/Dreamer tobacco spit match tonight! These two young men are great competitors. This is difinitely gonna be a hell of a match!!!

**Lawler:** Ummm... J.R.?!? Why the hell are you so excited about two men strippin' each other down to their underwear in a pool of brown spit?!?!?! _* screams *_

**J.R.:** Oh... huh? I didn't say anything of the sort... oh, look!! It's The Undertaker!!

_* The Undertaker's music plays, he walks out... wearing what looks like, stacy's wrestling shorts, and his usual Deadman Inc. shirt, but tied high around his waist, showing his belly button. The arena becomes completely silent *_

**J.R.:** ...

**Lawler:** _* screams for two mintues straight *_

**Lilian Garcia:** Uh... c-coming to the ring, weighing 328 pounds, from Death Valley Texas, The Undertaker!!

_The Undertaker enters the ring, then paces around waiting for his opponent. A few seconds later, Tommy's music plays. He comes out... wearing a yellow robe... and high heels *_

**Lilian Garcia:** ...Coming to the ring... weighing 260 pounds, Tommy Dreamer!!

_* Tommy seductively hops into the ring and sits on the turnbuckle with his leg crossed. They both watch silently as five men drag a neon pink kiddie pool in the ring and fill it up with brown, slimmy spit *_

**J.R.:** ...

**Lawler:** ... _* sigh *_ ...I need to find another job... maybe I'll apply for a one at NWA-TNA...

**J.R.:** ...Did you say something, King...?

**Lawler:** ...Uh, who, me? Nah... I didn't say a thing... _* rolls eyes *_

_* Tommy hops off of the turnbuckle, then slowly un-ties his robe... revealing a red tiny tube top and tight matching pants. The crowd moans in disgust *_

**Undertaker:** Boy, you WILL respect me!!

_* The Undertaker tosses Tommy in the pool of spit, then the bell rings. Undertaker pulls off Tommy's pants, revealing a tiny purple thong. The crowd moans in disgust. A few people are seen throwing up in empty soda cans, and shouting obscenities *_

**J.R.:** Mah gawd!! The Undertaker is destorying this young man!! Someone stop this!!! Please just stop this!!!

**Lawler:** ...

_* Dreamer punches Taker in his jewels. The ref screams at Dreamer, and pushes him lightly, then backs off. The Undertaker eyes widen and he falls down in the spit, holding his -- er -- "area". Tommy tears off Taker's shirt, and tosses it aside. Dreamer attempts to pull off Undertaker's shorts, but Taker punches him square in the jaw. Tommy falls down face first into the spit, Taker pulls off his tube top, then the ref calls for bell *_

**J.R.:** Dear lord!!! That was a great match!!

**Lawler:** Yeah, yeah... whatever...

_* The ref reluctantly helps up the battered Tommy Dreamer, while Taker makes his way backstage *_

**Lawler:** ...Weird.

**J.R.:** ...Oh look!

_* The titin tron shows Goldust happily skipping into seven-eleven. As Goldust enters, he slowly looks around and spots a very creepy looking man with multi-colored hair, neon pink and green glow-in-the-dark dye all over his body, bumping and grinding while eating some sort of candy. Goldust quickly notices that the man is in fact -- Jeff Hardy. So, he quickly skips over to him, then lightly taps him on the shoulder *_

**Goldust:** Jeffery!! Ah, it's nice to see you!!

_* Jeff quickly turns around, chocolate, carmel and various other stains are covering his entire face, hands, and hair. Jeff doesn't respond, he simply nods, then continues dancing and eating his skittles, yes, skittles *_

**Goldust:** Do you by any chance know where I can find some rainbow -- 

_* He takes a long, deep breath, feels his chest, the bites at Jeff's face *_

**Goldust:** Sprinkles?!?

_* Jeff nods, then points to his far left. Goldust nods, then walks in the in direction Jeff pointed to. Jeff throws a dallor at the ovbiously freaked out clerk, then exits the store mumbling something about ladders and sniffing hair dye... *_

**Lawler:** Jeff Hardy is one weird kid...

**J.R.:** ...Oh, look! Mah gawd!! It's Stephanie McMahon and Eric Bischoff!!!

_* Stephanie and Eric are shown standing next to a black limo. Eric is grinning -- what a suprise -- and Stephanie is screaming in his face. In the background on top of another limo, Tazz, Marc, and Michael are seen -- er -- "tending" to each other. Seconds later, security comes, shudders at the sight of them, beats the living shit out of them, then tosses the three out of the building *_

**Stephanie:** GOD!!! I HATE YOU SO MUCH, ERIC!!

_* Eric says nothing, then slowly opens up the limo's back side door, and grins. Stephanie smiles seductively, slaps Eric, then gets into the limo. Eric rubs his now red cheek, grins, then sits next to her. A few seconds later, the limo begins violently rocking and jumping and Eric can be heard yelling "I will knock you out!!". After about ten mintues, the limo stops jumping and rocking, then slowly drives off *_

**Lawler:** _* screams *_ Oh man, J.R.!! Eric and Stephanie were actually KNOCKIN' BOOTS!!

**J.R.:** Well... I doubt it. I mean, just because the limo was jumping, rocking back and forth and waited ten mintues to drive off doesn't mean they were having sex...

**Lawler:** Jim, you are SERIOUSLY starting to worry me...

**J.R.:** Huh..? What do you mean, King??

_* King sighs and rubs his forehead *_

**Lawler:** NOTHING...

_* A black limo is shown driving up to a curb. Stephanie and Eric are straightning their clothes, while the limo driver is quietly giggling. After a few seconds, he parks the limo and exits it, then opens the door for Steph and Eric. They get out and look up at the large, blinking red sign that reads "Hooters". Stephanie's jaw drops, while Eric just continues grinning *_

**Stephanie:** WHAT?!? WHY WOULD MY DADDY SEND ME ON A DATE AT HOOTERS?!?

_* Eric wipes drips of blood from his ear, casually looks down at Stephanie's chest, looks up, then grins. Stephanie slaps him, then pauses for a moment *_

**Stephanie:** ...Good point. Oh well.

_* Stephanie grabs Eric's hand and pulls him into "Hooters". Once they're inside, Stephanie begins looking around, and spots two empty bar stools. She drags Eric over to the stools, they sit down, then a bartender with VERY large breasts approaches Eric *_

**Bartender:** Hey hun, what'll ya have??

_* Eric's eyes drop down to the woman's chest, causing Stephanie to get jealous and slap the shit out of him. He grins, rubs his sore cheek, then points to his bleeding ear *_

**Bartender:** Oh, a Bloody Mary. Nice.

_* The lady glances at Stephanie, immediately thinking she works there *_

**Bartender:** Hey hun, you mind gettin' me some more wine glasses? They're in the back. Thanks.

_* Stephanie's jaw drops, she starts to speak, but shrugs instead and makes her way to a small room in the back of the bar. She enters the small room, grabs the glasses, then exits the room. As she makes her way back to the bar area, she sees Shawn Michaels and yes -- Triple H, BOOTY DANCING. Really, REALLY close. They leave the dance floor, then sit at a near by table *_

**Shawn:** Oh Hunter! You can really move on the dance floor!!

_* Triple H smiles seductively and lays his hand on Shawn's thigh *_

**Triple H:** Well-uh... with a-uh teacher-uh like you-uh, who couldn't- uh?

_* Shawn lays his hand on Hunter's, then begins to slowly massage it *_

**Shawn:** Oh Hunter... you're so sweet. But, our spaghetti is getting cold. I think we should eat now.

**Triple H:** Yeah-uh... I guess-uh you're right-uh...

_* Shawn picks up a single string of spaghetti, puts one end in his mouth, then the other end in Triple H's. The two begin to slowly suck each ends of the pasta until there's only about an inch left. Stephanie eyes widen, she drops the glasses, and stands there in shock. Everyone begins staring at her, making her frown. So, she looks around the room, then begins picking up the pieces of glass surrounding her feet. After about a minute, everyone returns to what they were doing. As Stephanie finishes picking up all the glass, she turns back to Shawn and Triple H, who have pasta sauce all around their mouths. The two just stare at each other, then the screen turns black *_

**Lawler:** _* screams *_ Oh man, J.R.!! Did you just see that?!?

**J.R.:** Huh? What do you mean? I didn't see anything...

**Lawler:** What do you mean you didn't see anything...?? It was right in front of your fat face!!!

**J.R.:** ...King... maybe you need to get some rest, you look tired...

**Lawler:** GET SOME REST?!?! Bullshit! You need to grow a damn brain!!! I know you saw what just happen, so just --

_* King feels something round, small and blunt pointed to his side. He immediately becomes completely still and silent, then gulps loudly *_

**J.R.:** LIKE I SAID... I didn't see anything... RIGHT?

_* King quickly nods, and remains completely still *_

**J.R.:** That's better... Oh, look!! It's Goldust!!

_* Goldust pops up the titin tron screen once again. He's happily skipping through the arena halls, waving and smiling at everyone he passes. He arives at the room where Mini-Dust is, but he doesn't see him. So, he runs around the side of the leather sofa, he quickly looks down and sees that the ice cream sunday they were sharing eariler is completely melted and has been knocked over on the floor. Goldust's heart begins beating faster, he frowns, then drops his bag of rainbow sprinkles *_

**Goldust:** ...Mini... Dust?

_* The screen slowly fades out *_

**J.R.:** OH MAH GAWD, KING!!! Did you see the face of Goldust?!? Poor guy...

_* King quickly nods, continuing to remain completely still. A single tear is seen running down his cheek *_

**J.R.:** ...Is something wrong, King???

~*~

**Did Mini-Dust die in Rikishi's ass -- or is he STILL alive?!? And if so -- can Goldust save him in time?!?**

Did Shawn Michaels and Triple H really KISS?!? If not, why are their lips covered in pasta sauce?!?

What was the blunt, small round object J.R. pointed at King's side?!?! Could it possibly be a GUN?!?

Find out on the next Chapter of "WhackDown!"!

~*~

**Author's Note:** I added one little scene with Michael Cole, Tazz, and Marc. It just made sense to add it in this chapter I guess... oh well. Whatever. lol 


End file.
